Kratos my cat... and his litter problem

Kratos is my cat, and a very cute cat at that.

He is also, in general, a very clever cat.  He hunts for kibbles with mighty accuracy and thrift when I toss them onto the ground.  He stalks spiders and insects for hours on end.  He plays with, and masters his toys quickly.  And he even knows how to shake my hand!  I was almost ready to declare him the cleverest kitty to ever walk the earth, except for one small problem...

He does not know how to bury his poop.

It is not for lack of trying.  After he does his business, Kratos understands the need to cover up the smell, and does all he can to do so -- except all he can isn't quite enough.  He delligently uses his paws to scratch everything around him -- the litter box, the wall, the floor, the air -- everything but the litter itself.  And, it is only after countless minutes of fruitless labor and many useless scratches on the sides of the litter box that he gives up, saddened and defeated, like a confused lighthouse operator who pulled all the levers and pushed all the buttons but still could not get the light to turn on.

It makes no sense; Kratos otherwise has excellent hand-eye coordination.  I have tried showing him how to bury his poop properly, but to no avail.  Everyday, Kratos repeats his dance of frustration and eventual disappointment, with zero improvement in his almost three years of existence.  And everyday, I wonder if there were a better way.

Until I realized, of course, that there is.

What if I simply removed litter from the equation?  I spent a few days working out the math, and I'm pretty sure that it turns out:

Kratos - litter = happy kitty of perfection

Indeed -- I decided that I will toilet-train Kratos.  It will be a long, potentially endless journey of trial, error, courage, setbacks, and poop smears, eventually culminating in either the ultimate triumph of the cat-folks, or a crushing and disappointing return to the banality of daily failures.  

And this blog will be its diary.